3 Nappies Comics A pension False teeth Wrinkles Going bald Going grey Being wise Being innocent Being responsible Being ambitious Being mature Being absent-minded Being grumpy There is a list of words and expressions. Say with which age you associate them.
5 Become ill and disabled Become a burden to children Suffer the fear of death Have financial problems Become incapable of living independently Need regular care and nursing Lose friends and spouses Live a boring life
6 Hello, people! We are old men, the senior generation. We are much older than you. Many years ago we were young, strong, courageous, clever, talented, ambitious, hardworking and happy. We gave the love and care to everyone who required it. We worked much, saw much. We have won the Great Patriotic War. We have constructed cities and villages, factories and factories, bridges and railways. We have brought up sons, daughters, grandsons. Time has passed. … Now your love and care is necessary for us. Think of it.
9 Despite the facts that at the home for elderly people patients are provided with lots of entertainment… Although social workers help the elderly in different ways…. While some elderly people have serious problems in their lives… In spite of the fact that the elderly are taken care of at the home for elderly people… Because of becoming a burden to children…
Caring for an elderly family member or loved one brings its own stresses and rewards. Your first step may be to convince your elder to accept help. A family meeting can help clarify issues and solutions, so make sure they run smoothly. And if your loved one needs care, he or she is probably going to see doctors; encouraging a partnership between the patient and his or her doctors brings many benefits.How to Reduce the Stress of Caring for an Elder
Caring for an elder can be rewarding and personally enriching, but it is also stressful. Using the tips in the following list can help you relieve your stress and improve quality of life for both you and your elder.
Accept limitations — your own and your elder’s.
Don’t dwell on small annoyances.
Search for opportunities to laugh, such as watching TV sitcoms.
Eat nutritious meals and exercise every day.
Look for ways to save time and energy, such as shopping from catalogs.
Find out about your elder’s medical conditions so that you know what to expect.
Use relaxation techniques like visualization, meditation, and listening to music.
Discover a new hobby or re-establish an old one.
Ask family and friends to relieve you of some of your time-consuming tasks.
Take advantage of professional respite care.
Join a support group.
Seek professional help if the stress seems overwhelming.How to Get Your Elder to Accept Help
Getting an elderly person to accept that they need help when the abilities they’ve relied on throughout a long life are diminishing can be difficult for you and the elder you’re caring for. The tips in the following list provide guidelines for easing your elder into acceptance of a new role:
Approach gently and be understanding, but express your concerns firmly.
Don’t tell your elder there’s a problem; ask whether he thinks there may be a problem.
Before suggesting outside help, familiarize yourself with community services.
Offer help, but don’t take over.
Back off when you meet resistance and try again another day.
Have a respected doctor, clergy, trusted friend, or relative suggest help.
Explain how assistance increases independence.
Never introduce a professional caregiver as someone who “will take care of you.”
Ask your elder’s opinion about how best to handle the situation.
Make sure that your elder is well rested and well fed before presenting plans for help.
When your elder’s perceptions of his or abilities don’t match your perceptions, resist the urge to contradict.
Offer assistance in an off-handed, humorous, and casual manner.How to Help an Elder Get the Most out of Doctor Appointments
Often, part of caring for an elder includes accompanying them to medical appointments. To make the most of these healthcare sessions, encourage your elder to use the following tips to promote a healthcare partnership with his or her doctors:
Take along a notepad or tape recorder to capture the doctor’s comments and instructions.
Remember to wear your hearing aid and eyeglasses.
Don’t be shy about asking the doctor to slow down or speak up.
Take someone with you to serve as an extra set of ears, take notes, and advocate for your well-being.
Put your prescription medicines, over-the-counter drugs, vitamins, and herbal remedies in a bag and bring them with you (or take a written list).
Take along a one-page concise list of questions and concerns, organized in order of importance (with a copy for the doctor).
Talk openly about your diet, alcohol consumption, and smoking habits, as well as major life changes (such as moving in with children or losing a loved one).
Ask the doctor to explain anything you don’t understand in plain English.Ground Rules for a Family Meeting about Eldercare
If your family is faced with getting or continuing care for an elderly loved one, a family meeting can be productive in airing issues and concerns and brainstorming solutions. Tips on running a fruitful family conference include those in the following list:
Don’t speak for others by saying “we think” or “my family thinks.”
Take responsibility for your own opinion or viewpoint by saying, “I think,” “I believe,” “I understand,” and so on.
Don’t interrupt anyone.
Encourage everyone (from the youngest to the oldest, from the shyest to the boldest) to express his or her opinion.
Choose a facilitator (for example, the oldest, most respected person).
Encourage family members to share their feelings by accepting all sentiments.
Don’t allow blaming and criticizing.
Stop verbal attacks dead in their tracks.
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Taking care of someone who has dementia is a full time job. Not everyone can work two 40 hour a week or more jobs and stay sane. A parent who lives at home with you and requires care or even just supervision is a 24 hr a day, 7 day a week, 365 days a year job. No time off, no vacations, no breaks. It's not like taking care of a baby or even a small child. In many ways, it's worse.
Some parents develop dementia (or other illnesses) and are still quite able to get around. Turn your back or take a shower, and your 65 yr old mother is naked in the middle of the street after having left her glasses in her oatmeal. What you thought you could shower while she ate her oatmeal by herself? Wrong.
It's time to give her the medication she's been prescribed. Today she has decided she doesn't like it and starts smacking you each time you try to give her the medicine. Each smack gets harder, she's becoming more and more frightened while you become more and more frustrated, maybe even a little angry.
She doesn't know it but she just broke your nose. You know she didn't mean to, but now what.
This was a neighbor of mine who tried his darnedest to keep his ill wife at home. He tried his best for 7 months and became ill himself from lack of sleep, stress and more. When he was hospitalized, his wife had nowhere else to go but to a home. Their only daughter was a single mother with 5 children, she simply could not take on another mouth to feed, let alone a whole active adult with a mental problem.
Sometimes no matter how much we want to do something, it doesn't mean it works out that way.
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I don't like it either, but sometimes, no, you can't care for your elderly loved one yourself at home- even with professional help. Not unless you're wealthy enough to hire 'round the clock certified and licensed caregivers and nurses.
Sometimes you could take care of your elderly loved ones at home- if you, yourself, were healthy enough. Or had the room. Or had the patience. Or didn't already work two jobs just to keep food on the table. Different people have different circumstances.
ALFs (Assisted Living Facilities) usually have a bit better care than SNFs (Skilled Nursing Facilities), although it depends upon the ALF; usually larger, posher ALFs have far better care than the smaller, more "homelike" ALFs often called "Adult Family Care Homes". These latter can be hell holes operated on such a shoe-string budget there's one caregiver for 12 people and that caregiver not only toilets and passes medications, s/he is also responsible for all cooking, cleaning, laundry, bathing and documentation. And s/he doesn't even have to be certified. A 3 hour class on dignity issues and Resident Rights will do. They're horrible places where the Residents are gotten up according to the caregiver's schedule, fed, and then left to their own, very limited, devices, until the next meal. "Here's your pills" may be the most the caregiver even says to any one Resident for days on end- that's it.
SNFs are so heavily regulated they've become nightmares of bureaucracy and meetings with minimal floor staff as the biggest chunk of the labor budget is put into two piles: Management staff (department heads) to meet compliance regulations, and Marketing/Admissions to keep butts in beds. It's ALL about the money- every single penny- the facility from which I have recently resigned** has a current census of 63 and they have scheduled FIVE (count them, 5) CNAs on each floor; do the math, that's 12 Residents/Patients per CNA, about half of them in Medicare for therapy, fractured hips, pneumonia, status post crisis stage of septicemia- all weak, usually delusional, high fall risk, unable to do for themselves which is why they have been sent for therapy! Twelve of 'em each. At night, the ten to six shift, it's down to 4 CNAs, because, well, everyone is sleeping, right? Ummmm- yeah, but you still have to toilet or change, and reposition those who cannot themselves, every two hours, plus do all your "other duties as required" which means clean up after day and evening shift- it's a nightmare.
But, if your loved one needs skilled care, if you haven't the time or room, if you can't keep your loved one safe, yourself, then a SNF is your only alternative.
But, we would do best as a nation if we reined in the profits the large "health care" corporations are making off the backs of these Patients, Residents and staff. And believe me, they are large; just look at a few of these companies' investor pages to see the kind of profits about which I'm talking.
**Yeah- I walked. I had a highly detailed letter of resignation all typed up, all my reasons, and when push came to put it on his desk, I said screw it, it doesn't matter anyway, and typed up another: "For personal reasons, I am resigning my position; my last day is ___. Sincerely, J Starr" Screw it- I'm sick and tired of having to apologize to Patients, Residents and family members because we've failed yet again to provide appropriate care, reporting it to the DNS or Administrator, and having the problem be ignored, or having the solution be yet another audit or round I and my fellow managers have to do- and then get reprimanded when my own duties fall by the wayside. I did the math- after all the meetings, audits, rounds and extra duties, I have 6 hours a week to do my own job. My labor budget was cut again this year- CUT! Three years ago, my department was 3 full time people; this year, it is 1.15 people. I'm supposed to find some minimum wage person who is anxious to work 12 hours a week! No no no. I'm done.
Wanna know the best part? Once I put my letter of resignation in, 3 other managers followed suit, and two more are actively seeking other employment. I feel like a fireman dangling from a hand: "If you go, we all go."
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Sections in bold are from the question details
Sections in normal font are my responses
Can't you care for them yourself?
I've checked my degree certificate, and it doesn't mention any medical qualifications.
The care is not often acceptable and staff can treat the elderly like rubbish
You've seen documentaries where care was unacceptable. I've seen documentaries where schools have problems. Does that mean that we should both start home-schooling our children?
I have a family member in a care home. I make a point to turn up randomly, unannounced. I've never seen her in any condition other than clean, fed, and awake.
She manages to communicate better now (having been in care for about 6 months) that she did in her final years at home (cared for by other family members.)
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